went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
