It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
