If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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