So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
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