do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
