I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
