also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
