..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
