Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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