dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
do herpes really smell.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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