You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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