i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
