I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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