I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Randomize