My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize