You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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