Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
