That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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