Sponge bath it is.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
