She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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