Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
