I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize