Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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