Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
