I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
