i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
