so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
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