i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
