giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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