so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
