Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
