youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm passing your future prison.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
