Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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