I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
