PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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