is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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