I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
