I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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