Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he thought i was a dude.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
