so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
