i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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