im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
