um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
