Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
