fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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