I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize