We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
