Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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