i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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