U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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