It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
