is your mom at the bar?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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