You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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