There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
