tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize