just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This baby is an asshole
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
