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I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Rumble strips road head = magical
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize