i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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