Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize