We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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