lets start a swedish sibling band together
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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