Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this beer tastes like vomit already
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
