I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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